I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
