it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
