Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
