Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize