I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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