there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
