"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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