For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize