Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
