What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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