chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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