People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
