using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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