Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
