still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
