i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
