We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
