So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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