we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
