She's JV to your varsity
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Mom said you looked used
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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