So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
