Redeem this text for a blowjob
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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