Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
