She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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