I wanna bring you to show and tell
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize