They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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