I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
