OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I die, sorry about rent.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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