after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
