If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
