My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
