I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I looked at my own cervix.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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