I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
