i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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