Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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