I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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