Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
