i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
