I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
