This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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