i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
