I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
