how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
