it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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