we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize