she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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