Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
