oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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