I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize