i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
