i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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