using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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