i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
