I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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