please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
