glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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