drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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