I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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