Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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